


sorry i didn't kiss you (but it's obvious i wanted to)

by clairo



Category: Broad City (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Lowercase, Smoking, Unrequited Love, anyway i finished binge-watching broad city and im in love with ilana and abbi, brief mention of smut, enjoy this lads, i dont feel like capitalizing it all........, its weed btw, maybe its not unrequited!!! up to u man, maybe? its entirely from ilana's pov so u dont know 4 sure i guess, nothing graphic, still modern tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 15:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10721961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairo/pseuds/clairo
Summary: ilana wants to kiss abbi.





	sorry i didn't kiss you (but it's obvious i wanted to)

they’re under the bleachers, sitting crisscrossed in front of each other, a fog of burnt gray slightly clouding their vision. rectangle shadows are cast over them, thankfully blocking them from the heat of the early afternoon sun. the grass scratches at their skin every time they fall over laughing at something dumb, which is probably only that funny because they’re high out of their minds. sure, they're supposed to be in math class, but math is dumb and they doubt they'll ever actually use it in their adulthood, and besides ilana convinced abbi to smoke some pot with her that she scored off some goth girl in the school bathroom.

"-and that's why your pussy has got to POP," ilana finally wraps up her lengthy argument (even though no one is actually arguing with her), by dramatically gesturing at the last word. 

abbi mumbles, "oh, yeah, definitely," flicking the hot pink lighter she always carries with her and holding the flame over the small ceramic bowl. "does my, ya know, pop?"

"always, gurl," she leans over her lap, which is tightly wrapped in a perfect pretzel, and grabs at abbi's hands. "pass it over."

"i hate bumming off of you," abbi gives it to her friend who's already taking a hit, and pouts. she should try to find a dealer, there's gotta be someone in this entire shitty highschool. 

"it's cool, dude, 100 percent my pleasure," ilana says, a bit of smoke escaping through her lips.

and it really is, ilana would do anything for her best friend, anything at all. like anything, but she's not gonna go into the details right now because it's not very pg-13. besides, she likes abbi coming to her for almost everything, even weed. because she’s needed, wanted, by abbi.

but anxiety hits her right in the gut every time she starts really thinking about her relationship with abbi. she's always so comfortable and content with her, willing to go through hell with her by her side, but the moment she thinks about her feelings, she feels weirded out. 

because on some level she's terrified of commitment. every time a boy climbs out under the covers from between her legs, and drawls on about how she's "the coolest girlfriend i've ever had," she feels sick and just pushes his head back down with an, "okay, buddy." 

or when a friend with benefits (except they're not really friends, just someone ilana likes enough to fuck), tells her she want to be in an actual relationship, ilana immediately rants to abbi and always ends up breaking it off. 

commitment just isn't for her.

on another level, she wants to fall so deeply in love with abbi, getting lost in her dark brown eyes every time they make eye contact that they probably shouldn't be making. she wants to kiss her, hold her, touch her angelic ass, and ride her into the fucking sunset. 

she wants to love abbi in every form of the word.

or maybe she's scared of the fact she already does.

"wanna try something?" ilana scoots closer (she can only get so much closer, there was barely any space in between them to begin with) and waits for abbi's response.

"what is it?"

"c'mon, trust me!" 

"the last time i did that, i woke up in a 24 hour gas station bathroom with 40 missed calls from my mom, and you snoring in the next stall over."

"that was a fun night."

abbi agrees with a small nod.

ilana decides to take that as a yes for both her questions, "okay, open your mouth," she tells her, and begins taking in the biggest hit her lungs can muster. abbi leans in, her long hair falling past her shoulders, her lips parting.

burning vapor fills up her cheeks, and holds as much of it in as she can until their lips are almost brushing, and secretly ilana loves how close they are to kissing. then she blows it into abbi's mouth, and ilana can her breath heat up against her skin, and she wants to shut her eyes and close the gap but she doesn't and instead leans back when she has nothing left to give.

a little cough is choked out and abbi asks, "what was that?"

"i dunno," she half-lies, "i saw it at a party. thought it was dope as fuck."

"oh." abbi responds almost apathetic and slowly falls backwards onto the bed of grass, spreading her limbs far out. ilana immediately hops over and rests her head on abbi’s soft arms, taking in the scent of strawberry shampoo and fresh laundry. again, she feels comfortable and finally closes her eyes, yellow and red light breaking through her eyelids. the warm sun peeks through the bleachers and lays pale strips of heat along their skin. 

so, yeah, maybe, it was an excuse to almost kiss her best friend without fully accepting the fact that she wants more than she gets to have. but she's not gonna think about that now, it'll just have to wait another day.

**Author's Note:**

> this pretty much non existent fandom is so small :(( but i just had to write this
> 
> i hope characterization was at least somewhat decent
> 
> title: bubblegum - clairo (which is an amazing song go listen to it)


End file.
